in adulthood, many people rush into a new friendship just as they did in childhood. they meet and talk and decide they have a lot in common. four-year-olds don't have many complications... and huge responsibility. but adults do. it takes time to learn who someone really is and is not. moving fast does not give us time or information we need to make an adult decision to form a lasting friendship.
one major red flag of regression to watch out for in friendship is the friend who keeps trying to change you or fix you. a true friend will not treat you like her latest project of helping someone to rise their full potential.
just as you don't need or want to be fixed, changed, or disparaged, neither do your friends. they want what many of us did not get as children: to be accepted as they really are - as their unique, precious self - not as what you think they should be.
when friends don't accept each other as they are, they are usually regressing, falling into patterns of judging, analysing, teaching or preaching. remember, these are all signs of inappropriate anger, which can destroy friendships faster than a speeding bullet. if a friend is angry with someone, he must stay in his adult place and confront the friend in a way that will do as little damage as possible to the friendship.
friendships are not static and won't always be the same. indeed, friendships should be dynamic, growing and changing like all living things. this means adults must do their best to be flexible, resilient, tolerant, and patient.
it is pretty easy to regress with new friends, but not nearly as easy as it is to fall way back into our past with old friends. we tall old stories and relieve precious, fleeting moments that exist only in memory. this, by the way, is one of the good things about regression - is allows you to wander the halls of memories that are not only painful but also pleasurable and fun. but if the past is the only glue holding a relationship together, and you have nothing shared or held in common in the present, the relationship will probably come apart fairly soon.
many friendships begin in regression and never mature out of it.
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i think im really stressed. had a nightmare.. received another visual media assignment (which i dont rmb doing on real life) that got me a C+ and i went to school for early in the morning as per every tutorial week, only to realise that it was week 13 so i went to school for nothing. the C+ was a horror! and qinhong failed his IPPT which he is going to take tmr... (which is quite drastic cuz he just got his gold last friday)------------------------------------
i serious have a problem with those people who are living on the second storey, but still insist on taking the lift. its like... u rather wait for the lift to come down all the way from 16 storey than to walk up the stairs! omg... how lazy can they be? its not like they have bikes or baby carriage or plenty of things to hold on hand. and yes... guess who are the people who typically lives on the 2nd storey.------------------------------------
if you have been watching the news... or even if you haven't been watching the news, you should have known that the investigation on how kastari had escaped is over. the truth has come to light!!!! quoting my ss tutor's words 'look at how the investigation has been carried out and how the authorities have been involved in the process'. do some critical thinking and you know what it means.
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