03/04/05
i super cant understand why my mom make a big fussy about me coming home late these few days.
like hello, im home every weekdays lo, and all im asking for is just 2 nights (fri and sat) off from home lo. and how often do i get to see those people only. i haven seen changzhi ever since last nov? and the rest since exactly one month ago?
but i admit, came back super late yday.. at about 1 plus. shared cab with jiasheng cuz we went for supper. it wasnt intentional by the way, it juz happened that the night got screwed up cuz we were juz rushing all the time. and god noes, 1 pathetic ger waiting for 3 pathetic guys. i waited for almost one hour. but its ok, cuz they book out late.
actually i wasnt angry at fabian and changzhi for joining us late, juz that i had to act angry to make fun of them. its really funny to see them trying to appease my "anger"... haha.
but at least i made a great time with them. anyway changzhi say he will compensate me... but i dun think i have time to go out again le.. BCUZ....
IM JOINED IGAP 2005!!! alternate sat have to attend meeting, plus all the small small meetings of the MT-s leh... then i wun have much time le. but i guess i will see CZ quite often. cuz the committee say wants to have meeting at TPY *standard time and place, but to be confirmed*
apparently YEP is closing down this june, and we need to find new sponsors... pauline say we have 2 choice.
1) to go independent
2) to find other organisations to adopt us
but going independent means we need to form an organisation ourselves and that means we need to pay corp tax every year and audit our finance and wateva crap. like setting up our own organisation and 'biz'. so in the end, we might drop that idea. most prob going for choice 2.
interest expressed in joining the recruitment and fundraising for our bright future, yupz.
anybody else interested in joining IGAP?
ANYBODY FREE ON THE 16 OR 17 OF APRIL TO GO *MOST PROB SENTOSA*? committee have to bring 2 person each for mt recruitement cum igap bonding session 2 weeks later... i need 2 person...
i tot this wud be a very good exposure for shijie...
so sad, somebody dind reply my friendster msg after talking to me on msn. then neva answer all my question. now i got nothing to do on weekdays le.
my mummy jealous of my daddy cuz i gave him more money than her. bleah, like dat also can. dunno, recently like keep arguing with her over trivial stuff. dunno y she keep kicking a big fuss out of small matters. women, always do that when they grow old. maybe i wud be like dat some day too.
or maybe im already like dat le. to the guys, im probably another irritating unreasonable brat who keeps scolding them. ZW, changzhi, beng, am i rite?
i bet they will say im not. they wun dare. bleah.
was walking alone all over TM while waiting for ting to come. and i realise nowadays got alot more lesbian couples than last time. hum.. interesting... maybe i shud consider getting another gf since ting got her beloved liao. no point getting bf ah, only noe how to irritate gers. haha, no la, kidding. im prefectly straight for everybody's information.
04/04/05
i dunno how many times i got lost in nigel's blog recently. its either i suddenly become a computer idiot, or there's something wrong with his blogskin. i only see the lyrics, pictures and nothing else.
i got a nice idea. since all our birthdays almost the same time, we might as well have mass celebration. ivan, beng, alfred, angeline, mine and jeanali... all celebrate together when ivan and fred book out for the first time la. nice?
nt bad ah, 6 person celebrate together?
06/04/05
conclusion, im an idiot. now then i realise how to deal with nigel's blog. i feel so stupid!!! maybe i was too obssess with the song right from the start that i cant see the big 'picture' on how to read his blog. bleah. but now i noe!!! haha.
went out with some of my class peeps for the guys sec round farewell cuz the sec batch of guys going for ns le. bleah. but its been really long since the last time i saw them. miss them so much!!! but i really hope my mass celebration idea will work.. hum...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BENG HAO!!!!! haha, my beloved 'honey, green tea' birthday leh... too bad his birthday in camp la... sadz to the max leh... haha, but dun worry. i'll make sure when we celebrate for him, it'll be a grand one!!! kidding la, i where got so much time and energy to to do much thing. muz remember to tell me how's
09/04/05
how many people actually notice?
i bet almost no one.
anyway, will u rather pay $15 more for much better service and slightly more accessories or $15 lesser to see a stupid 'yaya' face of the sales person?its a matter of $245 and $229... but she chose the 229.
me... i rather choose to keep the money with me for the time being.
but i really cant stand the yaya face.
as usual, i forgot wat i wan to say again.
13/04/05
was on the phone with huiting in the afternoon. told her about the very impt appointment of friday. she so like over reacted can. like evn more excited and anxious than me.
no longer am i feeling excited. more of scared. something's holding me back from accepting it almost all willingly. probably will tell a few of those whom im confortable relating to.
its hard being 'transhipment de xiao mei mei'.
handling overseas clients/principals, getting irritating phone calls from india and hongkong for rejecting our confirmation without rejecting it in the systems. but thats not all the hard points.
im supposed to learn how to handle my own vessels and cargoes next week. officially taking over full load of perm staff job. cool, but i scared of mistakes that will incur the company tonnes of thousands cost. looks like the sea trade depend on me now.. keke.
'trashipment de xiao mei mei always like to wear short skirts'. bleah. im forced to. like i only got 1 pathetic pair of formal pants, and the rest are like skirts. out of 5, like 3 happen to be short?
wateva la. their short aint really short anyway. its like abit above knee length only. bleah.
17/04/05
i think im seriously dying from fatigue and lack of sleep.
sentosa bonding session for MT yday was damn tiring, walking from one end to the other, back and fro. my god. super super tiring. all that walking isnt really too exhaustive, juz dat recently have been waking up hundred times during the nite and end up sleeping on the sofa. too many nightmares can kill u noe.
anyway, another 3 hours straight of meeting almost immediately after the bonding session, everybody stinks and all too tired to pay attention. but at least all points on the agenda is covered.
really admire pauline who still have the energy to go all the way to newton from harbourfront for supper with her frens late at nite. bleah. wanted to sleep on the bus, but cudnt fall asleep at all without my doggie.
anyway... ah!!! alot of appointment clashes on my planner!!!!! bleah. my weekends are like totally burnt.
bonding session again on the 30th, so nobody can touch my day.
4/5th may is weekday so i dun think u all will wan it la hor. anyway these 2 days also cant touch, cuz my family will be celebrating at home i guess.
igap meeting on the 6 may, so nobody can touch me either. huiting screamed at me for letting igap take dat day away. 7th is totally booked by tk gang le, so nobody can touch dat day either.
moral of the story: mass celebration can only be held on....24th apr, 1/2/8 may or any date later. if anyway day before dat, sorry i cant make it le. lead actress/actors will have 1 less liao. is it still on?
18/04/05
wasnt really in the mood to think after friday. guess im worried afterall. had some advices from my 'weekend dear fren'. guess his reply really make my day all the time. luckily i managed to check my friendster yday at cz's house. really felt much better after reading his msg. thanx fren :)
but... haha, i totally have no idea wat i replied him becuz i was juz replying blindly without thinking. hope i made sense ya?
interesting way of celebrating QH's bday yday. i swear i wasnt part of the planning. but i sure knew it more than 1 week ago. it was their idea u noe, they said they wanted to make this bday memorable. juz dat i was too tired to be more enthu about it.
i dun understand why all my weekends are like totally packed like crazy.
begin to get quite worried about 1 of my fren again. its nt the first time. as i always say, his blog content is always so sad. nt juz me alone ok, somebody else started asking me about wat happen to him on sat too. like as though i noe. haven talked to him ever since he went sispec.
and ya, injured hor, better take care hor. ppl's getting worried for u. u noe who u are la hor. i try to give u a call soon la. cuz i cant really gauge when u are free, so always dun dare to call u.
anyway, joshua asked about u also. keep asking me to call u. ya...
19/04/05
kind of cried on this 2 days. esp today, really cry non-stop. in the office somemore. luckily nobody see. dind cry becuz of work stress, its more of personal stuff. guess i've been accumulating alot of unhappiness in me ba. so when i cudnt make it to the hospital and kena scolded by my dajie, juz ended up crying lo. trigger factor for dat.
heng is at nite liao, most of the ppl gone then left very few people OT-ing, plus im at a corner somemore, so not too bad.
CZ happen to msg me at dat time too, so end up he called to comfort me abit.
anyway...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALFRED!!!! if u ever see this by the way.
21/04/05
reserved the whole nite for my beloved esther baby. like went out until we took the last train home? great time spend together, talking abt... shh... its a secret.
and haha.. YIQIN.... neva do anything wrong then scared people say ah...
apparently he knew i was going to meet esther dear today and he's like
'oh no, i bet jeraldine's going to say all the bad stuff about me'
guess wat? he's almost rite! i said almost all the bad stuff about him. bleah. actually he aint really a bad person la, quite interesting to make fun of. bleah.nt like as though i've talk alot to him.
army..."free food, free lodging, cool hairstyle. cool!" - quoted from jiahe's msg to esther.
jiahe... cool! haha
esther baby pointed out some interesting points for me to think about. reflection time...
my boyfren.... has to accept the fact that im close to many guys and im especially close to alot of my very very good guy frens. if he cant, thats juz too bad for him! im not willing to forego all my friendships juz for a pathetic guy. dats it. fullstop.
and irene is trying to matchmake me with all the guys possible around in the whole office. bleah. all because of i dunno wat got into her and her matchmake session reactivated.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO QH!!!!
seems like im not in good mood this week, and i cant understand why this week pass so slowly. been like super sad at work, and huiting keeps calling me to scare me? long miserable week for me and huiting, cuz its a week of worries, anxieties, sadness, frights, and ya, scary things.
23/04/05
stupidly walked my way to city hall from shenton way, happily thinking dat there is igap fundraising meeting today. in the end..... tio cheated. it is tmr!!!! bleah.
kind of nothing to say actually. blog for the sake of blogging cuz zhiweiwei say last week not much update.
haven been visiting all my frens blog. sorry guys, next time perhaps, this week no mood to do anything. juz hope this and next week faster pass.
hoping dat somebody will reply my msg and ya, talk to somebody else.
----------------------------------------------------
brother!!!! dat irritating person is pestering me again!!!! im so super bu shuang liao...
i dun understand ah.. y he got so many break time de.. like 24/7 free like dat. all the other ns guys also neva msg me so many times a day lo. so irritating!!!! driving me crazy liao!!!
dun understand why tell him straight in the face to many times le but he still dun get the msg ah.. stupid until this kind of extent. forcing me to do things dat is nt my style of working.. bleah. hate him!
apparently CZ is trying to help me with a master plan but seems like it doesnt work... wat the hell. so much for his great idea. lousy idea i shud say.
26/04/05
came back late as usual, every 10th and 25th on every month. had a great chat with juanz as of normal routine, and we always end off well, looking forward to the next meeting again. dats a pretty good way of going home individually.
'dun underestimate my own abilities' is wat i have to constantly remind myself for the nest 1/2 a year at least.
organising gala dinner with ministers as the guest of honour aint going to be easy for us i guess. thank god im the programme ic, not overall ic. guess sebast will have to take up a very stressful job. the fate of igap, will have to depend greatly on how well the fundraising team is going to get all the cash and sponsors. great deal of stuff to work with.
*if only all the money dat we get goes into my pocket... haha, dream on la. its not the save jeraldine project k*
something dat really brought out my smiles for the whole nite. something dat really bring me out of all my sadness and worries wats been with me for the past week.
"Well, I think checking out and replying your msg has become part of my weekly book out routine. But dun get me wrong, its not a chore at all, its something which i enjoy doing. haha.
you sound cheerful in your previous reply. (glad to hear that). Hope i'm rite.
Now for the "bye bye" section:
Checklist:
1) remeber to take extremely good care of yourself.
2) Be a cheerful Jeraldine
3)Sweet dreams every night and good day every morning.
4) hope to hear from you soon.... sobz.Time to go back to tekong. And before i forget, i must really say that without your weekly replies, book out day will never be the same again . must thank you for that. yar. see yar :)"
this something dat i got from my weekend msg fren. of cuz i took certain parts out. cant possibly post his whole long reply out. but i really end waiting for his reply every weekend and reading his as-long-as-possible replies.
but obviously, im still quite sad. but i discovered something today. actually, i really like drawing. was super free the whole afternoon today in the office dat i had so much time to draw comic characters. was really very happy when im drawing. sudden relief from all my worries and stuff. really felt great.
god noes wat happened, but apparently the whole office now noes about me and martin. my god. guess im really in deep trouble.
but then again, besides dat, i love my job, my environment and stuff. pretty much things to learn and ya, its fun. but even so, i certain look forward to being able to go back to studying again.
purposely spend something to read somebody's blog again. *i dind read anybody else's blog except his, be super honoured* really getting worried. he really dun seem/appear/sound rite to me. getting VERY WORRIED for u. u always tell me to feel free to call/talk to you when im feeling down. but remember i told u dat u can do the same too? it does mean dat telling me about ur problems will make u any weaker. and dun ever keep thinking dat ure weak. dun look down on urself, understand? i dunno how to explain to u, perhaps when i call u ba.
27/04/05
im kind of dead. my long weekends are totally gone, my next weekend is also totally gone.. and even my weekdays are so filled with igap meetings.
still have to rush out a proper decent formal proposal for the gala dinner that have to be handed up to the minster. luckily alot of people vetting it after my job. so nt too bad.
being in a super packed train doesnt give u any decent reason for shud i say excuse for a guy to touch a ger. damn disgusted. cant u juz shift ur hands away? shall not go into the details, but im super disgusted by any other guy. juz get ur hands off me!
its a contradiction... but i feel super being loved and super not being loved at the same time.
somebody here is doing so much for me, trying to fulfil my greatest dream of the year.
but this somebody else is not cooperating to make me happy.
so much for being a princess.
if he can put down his pride for my sake, y cant u?
kinda sad. but guess im immune le.
dun see the point why u have to interfere with wateva dat i do. im nt ur gf, i see no point in reporting everything to you. i dun have to explain to u why im always having igap meetings, why im not going back to sr on the 30th and wateva else dat im doing. i really cant stand it. dun interfere with wat im doing! i'm going to hate u for all my life!
for everybody else's information... in case u wan to ask me out.. hehe
30/04 - igap MT bonding session... it'll be a whole day event, so dun bother
01/05 - morning go running with my beloved huiting then whole day booked by zhiweiwei
02/03 - so far nothing on
04-05/05 - pending for family
06/05 - lunch appointment with yingshuang, igap mt meeting at night dat will last whole nite again
07/05 - booked by tk gang, cannot compromise!
08/05 - booked by zhiweiwei again, he got some prog for me :)
09/05 - fundraising gala dinner meeting at nite
10/05 - meeting juanz to hand up pay slip
11/05 - date with esther baby!
21/05 - fundraising major meeting
04-5/06 - famine camp which i dunno if im going, gotta reply CS asap
04/06 - igap fundraising hike... anybody interested to go? tix @ cheap cheap price leh!
in between dates are all pending for igap meetings. but anybody else interested to share my time with igap is welcome! but if got igap meeting then dat one comes priority, cuz we're very very behind time for everything to be done. bleah.
dats abt all my schedule... today...
all thanx to somebody dat cant meet me today...nt his fault at all...
i was dragged by irene and joyce to go makan dinner with martin! bleah. its 5 ppl altogether la, but u get the idea... obviously they're all pushing me to him ya... totally stupid.
meaning of dragging me there: they refuse to let go of my hand and keep dragging me until we get into joyce car. out of the car also immediately drag. after dinner still drag me to go paragon until now then come home, bleah.
kind of hate martin now. bleah.
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