there's too many things i want to talk about. but as usual, i dont know where and how to start.

2 newbies at work and recent questions targeted at me triggered some reflection.

time passed at a super alarming rate that i never realised that i've been working for 1 yr and coming 5 months already. i've always thought that im not the kind of person who can sustain interest or work for more than 1 month in any job. probably the reason why i've never liked working. i'm pretty stunned by myself and amazed by the work.

i've never thought i would be interested or be attached to anyone for more than a month either. came to that conclusion about myself from a previous experience probably about... 8 years ago? i remembered telling my sisters at that point of time that i think i'll never be able to find a boyfriend or get married because i cant stand looking at the same face for more than a month. but hey. my relationship lasted for 5 years plus already. nobody thought well of this relationship back then. not even ourselves.

i guess i never fail to surprise myself.

i asked my beloved about his life goal today. he gave my some individualistic answer which potentially exploded into a "ms universe" kind of reply. i was so "wow" by his answers because i never knew how anybody around me can be so.... wow. his interest is so... for the goodness of mankind.

he asked me back but i couldnt answer. i dont have one. probably because i dont believe in planning for the future because im quite morbid. but i do know what i want in short term and i believe in doing what i like.

i will like you to be happy and pursuing your interest and passion and whatever. i'll be very happy for you if you are able to achieve that. but i know i'll be sobbing to myself every other time... life is sad.