5 years and 5 months of happiness

after 2 weeks of thinking and mental preparation, we officially ended our 65 months of relationship. its not that we dont love each other anymore, but unfortunately, love is just not enough. it takes more than just love to keep 2 person going till the end.

i dont regret, i dont feel wasted. i really thank him from the bottom of my heart, for the happiness and love that he gave me till the very end, for the many wonderful memories that we had, for being honest with me and never once lied to me, for being there for me most of the time when i needed him to, for bearing with my poor attitude/emotional control/unreasonable demands, and for helping me so much in growing and so many other aspects of my life .

we dragged 2 weeks to get together. 65.5 months ago (23 jul 2005, sat), he held my hand for the first time and asked me to be his girlfriend when we're walking to sunplaza park. i wasnt sure, i hesitated. i finally agreed to it in the late night of 06 Aug 2005, sat (or rather early hours of 07 Aug 2005). somewhere in my memories say it was about 4+am.

there were alot of uncertainties, there were alot of worries. a lot of happiness and blissfulness followed for the remaining months, even though there were a fair amount of tears and heartaches. i know that there was genuine love and concern.

i grew and changed, and so did you. i guess we both know that this will be coming, its just a matter of when.

we dragged another 2 weeks to part from one another. 26 Dec 2010, you told me about your plan to continue staying there to work for your dreams. you told me that we will not work out. i held on to a hope. That things may still work out, and that we may still be together. 31 Dec 2010, i told you that i'm willing to give up everything here to work things out with you over there. you said you wanted to start afresh. but you still love me. 08 Jan 2011, the decision is final and we're not going to be together anymore. You held my hand for the last time while we walked back from sunplaza park.

it doesnt matter now that the hope is gone, because i know at least i tried. its not about the outcome, but the process and the thought that i know i tried my best. i know its not an easy decision for you either, but im sure you know what is best for the both of us and what you really want.

i dont deny that i will feel upset. i will need to get adjusted to the life without your tender loving care. but im really glad that i know you are going to pursue your dreams and you will do well. even if things dont go well, you dreamt and you dared to step out for it. the most important thing is that you tried and gave your best shot. its a happy thing to be able to do what you want and what you like. it's already good enough to know that we're best friends :)

像两首节拍不同的歌
却又同时被爱情合奏
旋律勉强着
愉快不能够假装快乐
你心中有宽阔的天空
但空气好稀薄
曾经以为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我

但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我

你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉 你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

如果爱情是五线谱
我只希望用全音符
吟唱出爱上你
那完整的幸福
当你的心没有耳朵
即使我为你唱这歌
你也只看见我哭了

你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉 你难过
于是我给你笑容

谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

i still love you, and i know you still do. its not going to be easy for the both of us, but we'll deal with our own sorrows and move on in our own ways and pace, and work hard on our own from now on. i wont make you worry for me, so i'll move on with my life. i wish that you can be really happy, and i know you will. Thanks for so much, my love for 5 years and 5 months...