04/06/05
returned home after watching star wars III.
was jiao dai-ing
da ge ge say he's withdrawing from iGAP. serene say she feels like it also. and seriously... i feel like withdrawing too. *log head probably wants to start bombarding me with qn. telling ppl dat im quitting* haven decide yet. and it seems very irresponsible for me to just leave like dat, esp with i'm the ic for recruitment, and prog ic cum stage manager for fundraising. nt very likely dat i can leave. and yupz, its nt good to leave when i noe its the point of time dat everything lies in my decision.
think i juz need a break la. been working too hard for i dunno how long le. i just wan to disappear from everything for at least a short while. to be away from work, and igap.
but its nt very nice to myself. i spare thoughts for everybody else, then wat abt me? i dunno.
am waiting for july to come. dats when i'll hibernate at home, going out only for igap and school stuff. *who am i trying to kid? dats nt very likely to be the outcome*
05/06/05
great. 0245 and i just reached home. kinda dind expect the hike recce to end so late. long dist walk, but definitely fun! i like the night trail part! dark and scary.. and fun! actually nt really scary la. just kind of dark. like almost cudnt see anything, needless to mention where we are walking.
ended late (due to seriously stupid mistake by us), bt luckily we got a very responsible IC who offered to drive us (4 of us staying in the east) home :)
bt like nt very good response for the hike yea. kind of disappointed. its like so fun and exciting. nt enough GLs and participants :(
decided dat am nt going to quit iGAP. cuz i realise i haven been utilising my PA. so i dun really need to be so tied up with stuff. luckily SQ and Z talked me out. if nt i really cant imagine how much fun i miss out.
extreme fatigue. am going to sleep. have no idea how all of us who went for the recce today is going to tahan the meetings later. 2 meeting in a row. died. if u see whole row of us sleeping at the city hall underground square, dats us :)
sleeping time :)
10/06/05
super super tired. hum.. actually not really bz with work all these while la. just having some stupid marathon every night :P ended up sleeping at only 3 plus for the pass i dunno how many days.
since im waiting for 530 to come and nothing to do in the office, haha, might as well pre-type my blog then go home and post. muz learn how to make good use of time ma.
seems like dat some problem between 2 person dat i noe. dun really noe wats going on but seems like the guy is keeping some truth from the ger. she say she will tell me when she noe the whole picture. wateva it is, the guy better not do anything to hurt my dear fren. mark my words, WILL NOT LET HIM OFF if dat really happens! neva more serious than now.
3 more weeks, my contract ending le. and time to prepare for school. decided to change abit of my plan. shall work things out when time comes. mummy dun wan to ket me stay in hostel, but will not be bothered with her. will just go and apply on my own and tell her when i get it. at most i pay on my own. hum... maybe i do need some help from ting to psycho her abit. afterall, my mum likes huiting a lot, confirm listen to her de.
kind of sad, bao bei cant agree with me on certain things dat i do. she say its wrong to dao people online, when they talk to you. but then again, think about it. cant expect me to keep talking to people whenim away from com? not in the mood to talk? busy doing stuff? fell asleep in front of the com? (this is not very likely)
neva do it on her cuz she's my bao bei, but she sort of sad dat i actually do. great. no.. nt too great. i dunno how to deal with her for the 1st time. maybe she's just too affected by somebody dao-ing her online. hum.. small story behind the incident. will understand her.
14/06/05
in the office as usual, since i got nothing to do until after lunch. recently no time to update blog... not really. just dat i chose to be far away from my com. decided to look up my old boyfriend.... the tv! and the VCD player! haha. nice shows to watch!!!
lots of things to say, esp for Sat and Sunday.forgot when i last updated, office no access to web, so cant check.
sat... met weiee for lunch. less than 1 and half hours, but nice. like i always say, its really good to meet up with people once in awhile. talked about school, tv shows.. and haha, founded people going to nus. at least im not alone anymore. will be going school together with Eileen :) but she's not going orientation, cuz her holidays clash. hum... i wan to go orientation!! being alone is probably the only bad thing about going to school dats diff from all the others, but i have my reasons for doing so.
sun: tired, but i woke up early cuz have to go for my mum's office family day thing. mummy happily dragged huiting and QH into it. oh... huiting ah... stunned leh. last time say die also dun rebond, dun dye hair. but then... ah haha, not too bad, still looks like the super pretty huiting dat i noe. confirm have more people falling for her. haha, then i got show to watch. see how she will complain to me the next time when school start. have faith in her and puay yee :)
went iGAP MT training after dat. dun seem as serious as i tot it wud be. probably cuz i went with a biased mindset. cant really blame me, cuz N is the training head, and as far as i noe, he's a very serious person. seems like its going to be 'yuan jia ru zhai' again. apparently N is initially uin the same hiking group as me (but luckily i psycho-ed S to swop him with I) and is interested to be my stage manager assistant. bleah. than again, it'll be great. cuz i get to concentrate my efforts on performing. but i'll be happier if he can volunteer to take up the script if vel dun wan to do it.
quite stunned but certain stuff dat i actually said. its like not the usual things dat i will usually say though. something's wrong with me, or maybe is cute jie grow up le. think things thru le. rmb saying this during the training... "having a bad experience doesnt means u wun be back. it gives u a more valid reason to prove dat its wrong." bear this in mind. i see no point in depriving oneself happiness becuz of some unexpected experience. life wun be as interesting if anybody just give something up after the first try. *see wat i mean when i say its not very likely dat the usual me will say this?* something else about having an open heart, but i forgot.
overt conflict VS covert conflict. its not necessary bad to have an overt conflict with people, but its guaranteed unconstructive to have covert conflict. dun expect things to always go smoothly. dats when u wun learn. people who learn from failures always become stronger and wiser than they are before. facilitation: ACTS. guess those in recruitment can be very good facilitators cuz they're all very good at T (taichi)! cool. nice stuff learned in training. glad im in MT :)
went home, read somebody's reply, and tot of this. (not directing at anybody, but my tots of generally everybody) disappointments are there to make u able to better appreciate the beauty of surprises, and being contented with wat u already have. sometimes, thinking things in a simplier way can make life much much happier than u think it can be. hum.. shudnt expect too much from anybody, esp urself.its always ok to need people around u, least once in a while (hum.. really dun seems like me saying this. jeraldine's turning weird)
after lunch...
goodness... super bored. and sleepy. like machiam im paid to slack/waste time here. so boring and nothing to do. lesser and lesser vessels going out and im super bored. the game record in this com, haiz, break until ultimate liao. play freecell and daidee until chao sian liao. and i still got 2 ½ weeks to go... ah... so boring.. *hum.. it wasnt like this few weeks back* i wan to sleep le. slept at 3 plus yday? watch vcd. crazy me. ah... talking nonsense...
since i got nothing better to do, and i got no better method to pass information... to weiee:
recruitment meeting 19/06 230pm at citylink undeground tunnel square
MT meeting 25/06 time and venue to be confirmed
MT training session 26/06 1pm to 6pm at sentosa
"think of disasters, and u'll get it. think of death, and u'll hasten ur demise"
18/06/05
was supposed to blog yday, but ended up talking on the phone with esther baby and replying each other on my tag board. chao lame, but fun! and so many people msg-ing me, dind noe wat i replied to them cuz was multi-ing too many tasks. *oops*
ran out of shows to watch, so recently quite idling. cuz i lazy to dig out all my past vcds. maybe wait till 2 weeks later then take out ba, cuz will have more free time by then. hopefully.
saw yanhui on tues after igap meeting. since she confirm going for today's class outing, i'll go. hoping to see some other people. but im wondering if brandz is going... cuz it feels like i very long neva see him le. and since he always tag along our class, tot somebody might ask him along. hum..
tmr faster come, cant wait to go for the hike. so exciting. but something quite misfortunate ah, my group with 5 leaders sadly dunno the route dat we're supposed to take in lab park. died. da ge ge was like "ging lao zhun xian, u take the front, i take the back". but i dunno the way! later group go missing how. and i think the other 3 leaders also dunno the way. great. actually i noe, but im not sure, cuz i was busy talking to somebody during the recce. great, serve me rite.
*hum.. dind noe dat esther was interested about the hike... not like something dat she will like*
seems like tampines suddenly became a tourist attraction yday. super crowded with people i noe. usually can walk whole nite also neva see anybody de. but yday saw huiting, juanz, eileen (i assume i see the rite person), meiyan, bryan(huiting's classmate), cecilia. and i noe bee and lisi also there cuz meiyan told me. hum.. and yiqin was there with esther too. was walking around with qh cuz he nights out. but we dind go and look for yiqin cuz... nvm. end up the 2 blur toads waiting for my phone call. haha. dind buy anything cuz i realise i have it all at home since long ago. blur blur me. keke.
working is so boring.. today totally have nothing on hand to do..sian-ed. bleah.. but i do wan to sleep. slept late yday cuz i was talking and hum.. i wan to sleep la.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just came back from class dinner.
in the end, brandz dind go. i asked if anybody asked him and why, but nobody wants to answer me.
nice time spent with them, and i found more people going FASS :)
continue story some other time.
not exactly very happy, but i guess i have no rite to decide anything or to control any of ur decisions. im just not very happy with wat ure doing. so disappointing. im so sorry, maybe i had abit of expectations when i noe i shudnt. shudnt have expect anything from u.
19/06/05
not really happy today.. cuz i lost my band. ah... cant get any happier.
i wanted to say alot about meeting just now. but no mood.
i wanted to talk about hike. but no mood.
i wanted to talk about class outing. but no mood.
no mood. dun wan to talk. unless i get back my band. but not very likely. i dun wan to talk.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
sorry, i was wrong. bad attitude.
meeting quite fun. just dat everybody very tired dats all. luckily SQ last min decide to cancel meeting in consideration dat we're all dying. at least managed to catch a few more hours of sleep.
like first time i feel dat the group is working together, even though the turning up rate not very high, but least everybody offered to help me out with my boards and nobody feels nice to idle ard, for the first time, i see team work :)
hike, wasnt very happy with the planning. but guess S was stress enough, dind wanted to stress him further. think he snapped at some people, but sure who was it, but he apologised to all in his email. nice time, least managed to see some long time no see people like I and A. really long time neva see them. and for some reason, i became I's successor. cool. lots of time spend on waiting, but guess cant really be helped. for i dunno wat reason, but our group was very fast, alot faster than estimated time given by S. like.. have to see who is the group leaders lo.. efficient leaders are super efficient ones.. keke. joking. but then again, heard from P today dat the 1st group was only 5 mins ahead of us by the end of the nite trail. but apparently she called to hurry them, and after dat they walked like bullet train. haha, pressure from us i guess. and E feed back dat we were walking very fast after i took the lead. oops, but i was trying to stroll already! hum.. overall, nice hike.
wat am i saying? time spend with igap people is always fun and nice. but i tot it will be much better if there are more igap people in our group.
anyway, apparently they were 38-ing about something i saw la. kao.. they ah.. MB and I, no 1 38 fan. C also another one. just dat she wasnt back before i left. hum.. at most kena question bombarding during next week's MT meeting. but i dind take M's advice into consideration cuz i was too tired to remember after i got home. and i happily went to sleep at 3 plus. but i dind feel anything wrong at all. i think it has something to do with my (lost) band.
class outing. fun, nice to meet up with classmates :)
surprised to see jean, and azim turning up. long time no see yanhui, qiuhong, peishan, LL, mic, lisany, RA RA, alfred, my beloved beng, joyce and huili!!! even though she only turn for few mins, but glad i managed to see her before she left. jean was so amazed dat i have do many stories to tell. like from the first day she see me in class until now, like keep talking nonstop and always got stories to tell. *miss latha say im a very good story teller k* went orchard, walk walk awhile go home. but its not about wat u do, its alwats about quality time spent with people who's worth ur time.
on top of my already existing sadness of losing my band, my fren dind have time to reply my email. double sadness. but guess i cant be too demanding on people. nvm la. sleep le, wake up then nothing le. jappy sleeping. nitez.
22/06/05
its quite strange how i actually took 30 mins to walk back home from the interchange when it usually only take less than 15 mins. came back early, took half day off.
supposed to go out with huili, but she decided to go home and sleep, while i decided to stay at home to continue my vcd marathon. supposed to meet her for dinner, but decided to stay at home cuz i wasnt feeling well.
headache... until i cant take it. hurt like neva before. tot of alot of things, but i forgot all about it. all i can remember...
as much as i dun wan to admit, zhiwei was rite. all the while when i think/assume/say im used to being alone, i realised im not. only realised i was kidding myself when something happen today. was telling my beloved ma'am, told her im scared. of something. argh... i dunno wat im talking le la. bleah!!!!!
time pass very slowly, when ure anticipating for something to happen, for a particular day to come. but it pass very quickly, when ure just living blindly. for now... is time passing quickly, or slowly?
ramdom thought... wat does it exactly mean when u say u recognise the existence of a person? with regard to the importance of dat particular person in ur heart? maybe at times, being able to forget somebody's existence and/or being forgotten may be a blessing in disguise.
23/06/05
QI SI WO LE!!!!
chao super extremely ultimately angry!!!!!
qi si wo le!!!
my stupid sister spoilt my things!!!! steal my yearbook to see without my permission, spoil my aurora cd cover, and spoil the heart dat yandao made for me last year!!!!! qi si wo le!!!!
super hate it when people any how touch my things without my permission, and worst still, spoil my stuff!!! qi si wo le!!!
sleep on my bed without my permission also neva so angry k. qi si wo le!!!! she better stay away from me for the next 10 years! at least 5m away. qi si wo le!!!!
me reach home...
younger sis: er jie jie come back liao!! (super loud)
me: "say so loudly, only got 3 reason.
wear my slipperseat my foodsleep on my bedwho do wat, better admit"
cousin: xiao biao jie read ur yearbook
me: hate it most when people touch my yearbook without my permission
spotchecked dat there is no damage... but...
qi si wo le!!!
folded the ear of the heartshart paper msg dat yan dao made for me last year dat was hidden within 2 yearbooks.
damaged the papercover of my aurora cd!!!
qi si wo le!!!!
so pek cek dat i cry k, spoil my heartshape paper... argh...
actually still feeling quite nice when i came home cuz there was a pleasant surpise after work at the mrt station. but then... argh!!! qi si wo le!!! argh!!! i dun wan to talk le.
still angry, but i still wan to say wat i wan to say. hum.. was am i talking about.. bleah, nvm.
so heartless, i forgot to post something for the past i dunno how many days...
happy birthday to fabian(12 june)!!!
happy birthday to jacq and john(13 june)!!!
happy birthday to huili(20 june)!!!
and lastly, happy birthday to mingshu(23 june)!!!
i remembered k, i sent msg to fabian, and huili. but just forgot to post it on my blog.
*oh ya fabby, the da jie u wrote on ur blog refer to me? if its me, chao gan dong :) if not me, oops*
had a free ride home in one of my fren's sister's car. hum.. and he said something dat i dun really understand. "as i told u jus now, same applied for primary school. somehow i cudnt master e courage to say when walking u home. so jus a word of apologies. if u wondered y we dropped quite far from ur home, wasnt becos 1 forgot, but to give me time to say but failed"
hum... can throw away all question marks, wat we said earlier in the car was just talking about times when we're still kids in primary school. nothing else k. but i dun quite understand ah... bleah.
26/06/05
apparently attendance today was too pathetic for bombdardment session to start. perhaps tmr. best if they actually forgot about it. then i'll be the happiest person on earth :)
very tired, but die also have to go for tmr mt training. but im sick. tmr training for first aid and ELC, hopefully i wun really become the casualty.
went to watch initial D with brother and alvin today. quite nice, cuz got JAY :) but i dun like the screeching sound of the tyres. oops, i forgot to pay back brother. *eh brother, next time k*
was talking on the phone, and brother taught me dat i shud learn to think about/for myself. shudnt care about other people all the time, its ok to be selfish. maybe i'll consider? but it wun be me if i think for myself. maybe i shud learn abit. aiya, dunno la.
cutting my hair tmr morning. alot of people almost killed me the last time round, this time wun repeat mistake. no worries :)
*somebody better remember to reply my email this time round!*
nitez.
27/06/05
something not very pleasant happened. to all my frens out there, ur dear fren here has completely lost her voice this morning. but no worries, keep super quiet whole day today, so not dat bad. managed to get abit back by evening, but quite cant really talk.
hopefully can get fully recovered by friday. if not my weekend confirm die, and my recruitment next week also affected. oops. faster ok ah...
training yday was so fun!!! see wat i mean when i say igap people are the best people to be with? now weiee also can experience my kind of joy le :)
first aid, laugh until everybody also cant take it, chao funny.
ELC... tink tink tink... dear ger here got the most question correct.. tink tink tink. got the most chocolate around :) but wats the point when i cant eat it now. bleah. in the end gave my prize away to yiqin for compensation.
did some stupid thing like pei-ing esther to go all the way to tanah merah to send her beloved off. hum.. dun find it worth the effort just for that less than 5 mins meeting time. but esther said something about going the extra mile. hum.. love is blind, but guess she likes it dat way :)
but i swear im not going to doing dat again the next time.
actually going around voiceless aint really dat bad. least i get to irritate people cuz they cant get replies when they talk to me... keke. but then...
my fren improvised a very appropraite way of talking to me. actually he cud just simply talk to me when i just reply as per norm but at a very low volume though. but he started typing in his handphone. so in the end, we end up talking to each other over the phone while on the train. like machiam 2 mutes like dat. cute. but i really appreciate his good intentions. like purposely wait for me at my train station to accompany me home and his efforts of trying to help me preserve my voice. thanx.
random thoughts...
people who are born on the same day usually have the relatively same character traits, thinkings and attitude?
29/06/05
noe i probably wun have the time to blog tonite again cuz im going home late after igap meeting. so might as well blog in the office first.
last day of work tmr! wohoo! more free time, much lesser income, but... school starting soon!!! yeah!
cant wait for school to start. got alots of shopping dates. with esther baby, with eileen, with huiting, with juanz, with weiee, with huili, with other classmates. and i dunno how else. gotta go shopping for school clothes and stuff. died... rapid money outflow but almost no inflow.
got orientation stuff to attend in July, so aint exactly as free as i tot i wud be.. but generally still free la. *oops, i forgot, im not for sale, keke* jokes aside, will be going orientation events with eileen, and peishan? if she is going also.
voice slowly recoverying i guess, but i mean relatively slower than i wan it to be cuz i have lots of things to discuss for igap meetings but without the voice, how to talk? my god. how i wish i can just cancel the meeting as and when i wan, but then again, got recruitment in AJ next wed, and i still need my voice for dat too. died. voice, voice, ur owner calling out for u...
but then again, serve me rite for not having my voice back cuz i lied to somebody...
ganged up with esther to lie to yiqin. and worst still, swear to yiqin dat if i lie to him, i'll lose my voice completely... and oops, retirbution comes fast k. in the end, we apologised to him within half hour. oops, but too late. already got my punishment by then. all his fault la, who ask him to insist on confirming something with me on the phone when i already had no voice. ok... shall not blame others for my own fault. its just a birthday wat.. no big deal. but cant deny dat yiqin is really a not too bad boyfren around... except dat...
anyway.. happy birthday to joyce (2A04 de)!!!
and apologies goes to jester for me mixing up his birthday dat is in July. i tot it was in June.. oops.
No comments:
Post a Comment