I seriously cannot identify with those men who have more than 1 family. It all seems so absurd in terms of emotional and financial support. Not to mention that it is socially deviant and "undesirable" because they are not able to fulfill the label of "functional" family unit. It's just like how I can't understand where those men got the money to support 2 families when there is just enough to support one. Was having breakfast alone the other day at the coffee shop and there in front of me is this table of husband and wife with they almost newly born baby. And I was just thinking "wow, so romantic. Got for breakfast together." And shortly after, the man received a phone call from her daughter asking for something. And apparently he just told her to look for her mum and just put it off with the excuse that he was busy working. Amusement added on when the women asked the guy why his daughter keep calling him and said his wife wasn't taking good care of the family. Total crap.

And so I just thought of one of my best friend who had this experience of father having another family outside. But this case wont different in the sense that my friend has a father who is earning loads, and puts both families in god financial position. I used to wonder if he knows how my friend was emotionally so affected. I used to cry with her when something within her family happened some time ago. But least she was determined to made sure her remaining family still remain happy and make her mother proud of her despite her ex-husband's deed, trying to be independent of her father. And she did, make all of us proud of her.

And now I wonder if it is a good thing to let the "original" family members know that the man was having another family outside. After all, not everybody with "improper" family background can react and make rational decisions about their life.

Been thinking about a lot of things recently. All those about family, about future, about finance, about academic, and about friends. Been having weird dreams, like SR graduation that looks like some kind of funfair in school with whole lot of performance and stuff. And the following day I dreamt about helping out in this national event that the usual guys are taking part. Saw them in my dreams once again. Well, if u cant see those people in reality, its still good that you get to see them in your dreams. Certainly miss those days and people. Guess I really miss them a lot.

Kind of feel isolated recently. Like I just don't belong here. Every evening just seem like entering a nightmare to me. I wonder how long I can bear with it. Huiting predicted that it will be worst if A don't get into the mainstream in 9 years time. By that time, temporary label will just permanently get attached. "social" stigma to be self-fulfilling prophecy that is. Too abstract to be understood by other people I think.