something is very wrong with me.

i never hated school like i hate it now. i never even dislike it. but now i hate the place.

it has become a place full of strangers, full of people i dont know. i feel like i dont belong there anymore. it a place that reminds me that im now a hons student. it reminds me of the significant level of stress and pressure that i need to face. it reminds me that i am playing a game of risk with my results.

my lousy timetable is not doing things to my favour. 4 day week with everyday ending at 1pm reminds me that i will have to spend alot of free time in school mugging instead of attending lessons like how i used to with my screwed timetable for the past 3 years.

but i know, its just cognitive dissonance in my mind. i have to... and i will start mugging. there is no time for me to engage in escapism and indulge in self handicap. i will... stand up on my feet again and start running towards the end point.