lecture notes for domestic violence

violence (sexual/physical) - power and control relations:
1. using economic abuse
2. using male privileges
3. using children
4. minimizing, denying and blaming
5. using isolation
6. using emotional abuse
7. using intimidation
8. usig coercion and threats

examples of physical abuse:
pushing or shoving, hitting, bitting (neva copy finish)

examples of emotional abuse:
continually criticising, calling names or shouting, insulting or driving away frens, removing emotional support pillars. (neva copy finish)

examples of sexual abuse:
minimising partners feelings about sex, criticising sexually, insisting on unwanted or uncomfortable toucing, withholding sex and affection, forcing sex after physical abuse or when partner is sick, rape, being jealously angry

when making a complain, very often the women have more to lose than a male. but male have to face the serious problem of losing face, accounting for lesser males than females report.

education does not matter when it comes to abuse, usually the degree of hurt is higher when the offendent is more educated.

drunkenness or drug doesnt not cause domestic violence. it only account for the trigger factor for that instance, but not the underlying factor for consistent violence.

in the family of many children, normally only one child is picked on as the taget. the abuser usually pick on the slected child with knowledge that the child do not have the support or the confidence to resist or complain.

apology is usually part of a vicious cycle of domestic violence. the abused will usually give in when the abuser apologies but will result in the second or third cycle of abuse.
women always stay in the relationship because of various reasons (denial, love, duty, guilt, responsibility, shame, security, identity-manay of us have the belief that we will be complete with a man, low self esteem, gender role conditioning, economic dependence, parenting, religious or societal values, fear of being alone and managing alone, loyalty, pity, rescue complex, dear of his suicide).
women are most at risk when they attempt to leave. the highest risk of being murder - comes back to the point of power and control. "how dare she leave me"

cycle of violence:
tension-building phase (a month or lesser) > explosion phase (when you feel that you cannot take it anymore) > honeymoon phase (really fall back in love with the person) but as the relationship progress further, it will lead to an increase in tension.

all the data of the govt when it is regarded to violence is inaccurate because most of the cases are not reported.
number of person protection order issues is not = application of protection because many applications do not go through because of poor applications.

management of family violence:
MOH (health), MOE, police, MCYS, family court, FSC (family service centre), PAV (promotion of alternative to violence), (neva copy finish)

in case of threat to kill or suicide or weapon used, abused report cannot request for no-action taken.

neither way is violence acceptable in a relationship.

non-violence - equality:
1. economic partnership
2. shared responsiblity
3. responsible parenting
4. honesty and accountability
5. trust and support
6. respect
7. non-threatening behavior
8. negotiation and fairness

using blog to take down notes during lecture... not bad ah... haha... one more use for blogs. will take away the notes when i start to study the topic. haha...

intersting study: to slap your wife when the food is not cooked is acceptable. but to slap your wife when the baby is crying is not acceptable.

got people say i very naggy ah... got meh... seems like only ah hui and soo ling thinks that im naggy leh. unless the rest of the people neva say la... haha...

hum.. dun really have time to blog today... just blog to type my notes.. cuz i need to spend the lecture time to read notes for my tutorial that is scheduled for class after this lecture. haha...